Lukas Drinkwater

"Take the road to St. Agnes and turn right at the seven mile long garage!" It was the deputy bass player and I was baffled. A seven mile long garage!? That's enough to house The Odd Folk's entire fleet of cars I thought as I sped along the B9000 to St. Agnes. After the right at the longest garage in the world I pulled in and waited for the deputy to appear. He did just as soon as I'd cut the engine; a bespectacled man with dancing eyes and a carefree manner.
 "Follow me" he said and disappeared into a blue transporter.

We wiggled further along the Cornish country road taking a blind left down a bumpy track and scrambling down the lane. The bumps increase; large parts of the once concrete surface had fallen away leaving potholes the size of surfboards. It was like driving on the threads of a screw! No wonder they have a seven mile long garage here; it must be to house all the cars in the village when they break every morning!

The deputy bass player stopped ahead and waved for me to follow suit. I pulled in, narrowly missing a pothole the size of my car. "It gets a bit bumpy now, you're better off coming with me!" he says, leaning out the window. "You don't say!" I answer as I clamber into the blue transporter and we undulate down the lane.

The road leads down to a beautiful old cottage clad in ivy's and wisteria's with a little stream running along side it. Large trees lean in from both sides of the valley and the sun streams through the foliage. "Welcome" says the deputy as we disembark.

Lukas Drinkwater has very kindly answered our plea for a bass dep or understudy as our very own bass player has a boxing match he simply can't miss! Sod's law, but we've done pretty well to get this far without a clash and we're looking at it positively. It's great to meet fellow musicians who can slip in without too much fuss when that big thing called life gets in the way of music! Lukas is a very experienced player, a multi-instrumentalist, a finger picking songsmith, who currently plays with 3 Daft Monkeys. Although our paths have crossed on a few occasions this is the first time we've really met and apart from the bumpy ride down here, it's been better than expected. But I still hadn't heard him play!

We bundle into the old cottage and after a quick cuppa we're away. I stumble through the 10 songs, and without even breaking a sweat he's straight in, playing away as though he been here for months, and by the end of the two hour session he knows the songs better than me! "Morgan, It changes after the second chorus, we drop back down again." he points out after I plough straight on oblivious!

I'm feeling more and more assured that he's going to do a great job and more and more worried that we're going to screw it up! Perhaps I'll tell the audience that we're all deps and that Lukas Drinkwater is the only true member of the band! That way we'll cover our mistakes!

Drinkwater and I...

After the session we clamber up one side of the steep valley and peer down to the sea, "the garden runs all the way down to the ocean, and there's a beach too!" he smiles. We pause for a photo before departing back up the fractured lane to the relative safety of my car. We wave goodbye and I scramble further up the rutted road, connect with the country lane, which seams as smooth as silk compared with what lies below, and pull into the garage for a much needed service! I'm missing two wheels, both headlights, the passenger door and half my boot. "You've come away lightly!" says the weathered mechanic with a grin.

Back at HQ and we're preparing for our gig this friday at Port Eliot Festival worrying mostly that we'll let Mr. Drinkwater down, well that and all the usual Odd Folk misadventures; like the piano player having gone to the wrong festival 200 miles north with no tent and sleeping bag, the guitar player's ticket having disappeared and the drummer's car prone to breakdowns! So perhaps it really will just be Drinkwater and I. At least he can teach me the songs!

Come and watch us; friday night, Port Eliot Festival, Ace of Clubs Stage, 8pm.

www.theoddfolk.com

Band Abandonment

Where to begin? It's been a while! A good month away from the band, and indeed all the bandmates. We returned to our normal lives, of cage-fighting and boxing and selling paintballs (the piano player had a record week down in Plymouth and made enough money to buy the guitar player's house outright!) 

As we didn't really speak to each other I can't really disclose too much of what we all got up to, so I'll have to make it up!?

The drummer spent the time away living in his wooden windmill making flour.
The bass player spent the month training for his boxing match with Tyson.
The guitar player got so frustrated with the red-tape surrounding the aforementioned purchase of his house that he murdered the estate-agent, disposed of the solicitor, broke into said property, sealed all the exits and waited for the army to arrive!

The piano player sold so many paintballs he turned into one, but scared he'd burst open and splat on the floor he desperately needed an empty house to hide away in. He purchased the guitar player's house from under his nose with all the money in his plastic paintball pocket. Upon arriving at his new property he encountered a stand-off between a boarded up house and the armed forces. Scared he'd get caught in the cross-fire he retreated back to the subtropical valley from whence he came and lived happily ever after under the dropping banana trees.

I spent the time away dreaming up these scenarios and looking forward to the day I could print them!

In all seriousness, we're back! Perhaps too much time away makes us silly. Perhaps this band keeps us sane. Gives us a vehicle to release our energies into. Too long away and we all go slightly mad. Having spent so much time together of late when there is a fallow month, it's bliss for the first 2 weeks but then we start to get itchy feet; we start lifting the bass amp up just to remember what it feels like, and ironing our shirts even though there's no gigs on the horizons and we don't even iron our shirts when we do have gigs! We phone each other up; I'll call the guitar player and touch base on logistics of the next gig, even though it's within walking distance and doesn't need any attention. Or sometimes in a state of desperation, unable to deal with 'band abandonment' we decide that the chorus to one of our best-loved songs needs changing; we'll have to rehearse it immediately, we'll have to meet up and sort it out! And we'll rally a little, draw up plans for an emergency practice! And this little burst is often enough, often a couple of rushed texts seemingly alleviates the issue, that quick shot of contact making us feel like we're still part of something, like we belong. And it's all ok again; we listened to the chorus and it works after all, it must have been the CD skipping!

And so the long month is all over; it was needed and we feel rejuvenated and recharged. And besides there were one or two real issues to deal with this time, like sourcing a Dep for the bass player who has pulled out of one of the summer festivals and taking the guitar players slide into the menders! That was enough for this month; the chorus' were spared and the bass amp stayed seated! 

And so we're back! Here begins another busy few months; July will see us at 3 festivals and a wedding, August see's us at a further 2 festivals, September see's us at yet another festival, another wedding and an arts centre, and October see's us begin our European Tour! That's should keep us going for a while. Our next month off is November, although isn't that when we're recording our new album!? Christ, no rest till christmas!

--- --- --- ---

"You keep saying we haven't done anything in June!?" says the piano player, nursing a cup of tulip tea.
"Yeah I did, I said we sourced a Dep and took the... "
"Hello!? we just played on the BBC in front of 13 million people, remember!" he trumpets, tulip tea in hand.
"We're not allowed to say that! We signed a confidentiality agreement and all sorts of disclosures!" I snap back.
"We're not allowed to say the name of the show, that's all." adds the guitar player matter-of-factly. "We can remind ourselves of the channel and amuse ourselves with the numbers, there's no law on that!"
"I suppose not!" I smile. "So we've had a pretty good fallow month really!?"
"Not too shabby!" he returns. "We played in front of 13 million people and gave our CD to 4 celebrities!"
"Does that mean we're kinda of a big deal!?" asks the piano player and we all laugh!

It has been a pretty good month for us to be fair; the potential is enormous but patience is needed and so until the lights go green we have to keep stum.
All will be revealed, in all it's gory detail, in time...

Just gotta hope the army hold off till then! ;-)

www.theoddfolk.com

The May Day Tour!

The good old days...

I am perhaps a little premature in concluding our recent months activities before they've finished, but I am confident I can predict the 9th and final gig that takes place tomorrow evening in Dartington Hall. Gilly and Warren's wedding; old friend's of ours, tying the knot in a 12th century monastery and requesting not The Odd Folk, no no, they're of an older school than that, having instead plumbed for The Sam Brookes Quartet, our previous guise that consisted of myself, the guitar player and the piano player!
The bass? played on a keyboard. The drums? Played with my feet. It's how we rolled for a good few years before the album's launch and the name-change. Simpler? Certainly. Better? Some will say!

Anyhow, enough of that, let us conclude our busiest month to date, The May Day Tour, that took us over a 1000 miles, zigzagging across the south of mainland Britain. As you know we began in Wales, at The Oak in the market town of Welshpool. A fairly restrained crowd, save for the blind man and the drunk lady, both of whom loved it and paid for CD's even though we'd forgotten them! They effectively bought them on blind faith! The Latest Music Bar in Brighton was a disaster, a badly organised and advertised gig that cost us dear. Still the guitar player says the lamb burger and chocolate brownie he bought at 2am were the best he's ever had, so I guess that's something. The next day at The Gladstone in London we played one of our best sets musically, and with a great and attentive crowd it was a welcome return to form! Next up was a dive into the great unknown, Prema Arts Centre in the little village of Uley where we knew not a soul and were totally reliant on the venue providing a crowd. Of which it did, a rather middle aged and middle class one, but a beautiful one at that and with 18 CD sales after the gig, it broke a record on flogging merchandise!

"rosy and ruddy with drunkenness!"

Then came the homecoming; four gigs in two days back in the loving sleeves of home. We played an acoustic set for the grand opening of The Knut in St. Just followed by an evening slot at Don't Wake The Fish, a spring ale festival at our second home, The Gurnards Head. This latter was a rip-roaring, ale-drenched shin-dig and one of the better one's of late; a reminder of the good old days, back firmly in our comfort zone; a nice marquee in a field surrounded by good folk and lots of dancing! After we wrapped the five of us stayed on tasting the array of ales on offer and, rosy and ruddy with drunkenness we bonded, giggling into the shoulder of the night and howling up at the pale moon! We danced to the band that followed, The Sandy Acre 7, and then accepted a wedding gig from a drunk fan, sold 4 CD's off the cuff and slept where we fell.

With wholesome hangovers, the next day's giggles were hard work indeed.
The Pirates on the Prom event that started that afternoon and stretched out till the following night, began as a wash-out. Four songs into our gig in The Spingo Tent and the rain had found it's way in. We were playing in a puddle! Despite the audience helping to lift our gear onto chocks and out of the water, the atmosphere was damp and we abandoned ship before our allotted time. That night we did the opposite as we slipped over to St. Ives for Sven's Wedding, playing an extra half hour as his eager guests demanded! Raucous encore's of "More and More!" and they were a rowdy bunch too; there were moments when we thought they might turn on us when we eventually stopped! They might barricade the door and "encore" us to death! The following day was the actual pirate world record and though we didn't have a gig our hometown demanded our attendance, and even though our body's and soul's had been through the grind, we took one for the town! Dressed as pirates we swayed through the day in all our tom-foolery; but despite our best efforts, Penzance fell 77 short of the record!  

Three days later and we're finally back The Odd Folk HQ, I've been making Elderflower Champagne and I'm only just feeling normal. It's been a long old tour, with heightened highs and languid lows. We've played to 100's; furious dancers and attentive listeners, packed marquees and empty near halls. We managed to pay debts with CD sales even if we've struggled financially as a band. We showcased our new banner, conquered middle-england, lost piano stands, sold albums on blind faith and found out the drummer's a cage fighter! Now if that last point isn't a trump-card for the future then I don't know what is! Forget the new openings our bass-playing boxer can get us, like bullying Mr. Blagwoofer to let us play at this year's FigFestival, Cage Fighting is a much darker art and takes bigger victims. I reckon we can now rest assured we'll be headlining Glastonbury for the next decade! Happy days...

www.theoddfolk.com

A tale of two venues

This is our latest update, coming in at record time, a mere 6 days since our last post. The reason being, as much as we are encouraged by your lovely feedback to write more frequently, this is also something we have to get off our chests!
It is a tale of two venues, two polar opposites, black and white, hot and cold, Jekyll and Hyde. 

It is the second leg of our May Day Tour! in which we're taking on the south-east of the country! Brighton on the Saturday and London on the Sunday. It's a hot day and we all turn up to HQ a little hazy and lacklustre. I didn't sleep well, the guitar player is hungover, the drummer too, he's been ale tasting the night before! The piano player's trying to be chirpy but even he's struggling, despite a week of good paintball sales, he's below par. We all are. We set off in convoy and 3 hours later we're pulling into 'Britain Hippest City' under a heavy heat. We find the venue and then spend an hour driving round in circles looking for a nearby parking place. Upon finding one, we shell out £100 a minute at the metre and, ravenous, head to a nearby cafe and spend another £100 on Eggs Benedict! At 4pm we drive back to the venue and unload our gear into the nice, light auditorium, before driving back to the parking spaces (that have now gone - we find new ones further away!) and forking out more gold for more minutes. Back at the venue, all our stuff has been moved from the nice auditorium, it's been taken downstairs to a dark and dingy basement theatre and we are introduced to Dave our sound-man. Slighted but not defeated we set-up and sound-check with some dexterity and ease. It is a half-decent sound and despite being demoted to the basement we're still in good spirits and eager to watch Arsenal win the FA Cup but Dave calls us back and tells us to remove all our instruments (including the drums) from the stage as there is a cabaret on before us. Slighted again, we pack up and carry all our gear down a small corridor and into a cupboard and bolt across town to watch Arsenal, who are losing 2.0 by now. After a frantic match they finally win but nerves have been tested and emotions are high. We duck into The Giraffe burger bar and eat an overpriced meal. After our Giraffe burgers we sit around trying to write a set-list but we're all on a different page and myself and the piano player have a lovers tiff as tempers soar. Back at the venue and the hairy manager informs us that we have to provide a door person, which we plumb refuse as it wasn't mentioned in the contract. 

The gig was... well the gig wasn't really. It was a non-gig! Very badly attended; 14 of our friends performed spectacular 'No-Shows' and of the 20 people that did attend, we only knew 4 of them! Optimism would say that's 16 new fans, but they didn't seem at all interested in us. We played ok, but fizzled out towards to the end and failed to sell any CD's, despite remembering them this time! After the gig and the hairy manager came to me to settle the takings. He handed me £25 and a breakdown which stated that despite taking £100 on the door we were to pay Dave the sound-man a whopping £75! Once again I plumb refused and after a exchange of an unpleasantries, he conceded and handed over the full amount. We packed up, walked miles to our cars and then headed solemnly to my cousin's house where we were stationed. The bass player headed lone-star back to London. It was a bad day. We were left feeling grey and wounded.

But the next day was perfect. We rose rested, were handed fresh coffee by my cousin. We travelled to London in relative ease and comfort. The guitar player's cousin (I swear our family is the only thing keeping us going!) had made us a perfect barbecue and we arrived at the venue with two parking spaces directly outside waiting for us. We unloaded our gear with the minimum of fuss and were warmly welcomed by the nice manager, who upon finding out we'd travelled from Bristol offered us food! The pub, a renowned music venue that's hosted enough famous names to make you salivate, filled up nicely and the audience sat attentively waiting for us. The gig was... it really was this time! I'd say one of the best we've played, with perfect sound, a great crowd and it left us fully restored from our Brighton endeavours! What a difference a day makes! We stayed around for the main act, Alani Charal, and she quite simply blew our minds. I can quite confidently say she was the best live singer I have ever seen! We left feeling rosy, feeling top of the world. 

The piano player, in full chirp, turned to the guitar player and said, "You know what, your in my top 10 favourite people!" and then he caught the drummers eye, "Sorry mate, you didn't make the cut!"

www.theoddfolk.com

Song Surgery

“So is this place haunted?” asked the piano player as we sped up the M5 towards Shropshire. He looked apprehensive, so I played up to it. 

“Yep, it’s riddled with ghosts and they particularly like paintball selling keyboard players!”. He smiled dismissively and then he paused, “It’s not though is it!"
I looked at him with the straightest face I could muster and slowly nodded.
“Stop it! It's not!? ... Is it!?"

Belan Hall 1882

This place was Belan Hall; an old shooting lodge nestled in the crumpled green mountains of Mid-Wales. It was built in 1882 and once belonged to Neville Chamberlain. A good 5 miles from the nearest village, it was an isolated retreat set within its generous acres and empty but for a neighbourhood of sheep. All the fields that slopped up to the mountain ridge were dotted with the little fluffy beasts. Some with lambs, some lone rangers, all of them eating the green, green grass. "Baaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr" they said in unison all day long. This was a forgotten land, kissed by a 100 sunsets and washed by a 1000 years of rain.

We were to be spending the weekend here rehearsing our set for the giggles we had scattered over the summer. Rehearsing our set, or performing surgery on our set as I liked to call it. It had become apparent that many of our songs needed operating on, to remove the tumours and broken bones and nurse them back to good health. Many of them, old men now set in their ways, needed a little fresh air. New endings, new beginnings, new songs really! We needed new songs but had decided against spending the weekend writing all new material as appealing as it sounded. The problem being that adding a handful of new half-made songs to our existing list of half-made songs meant that we would just increase the problem, we’d have loads of songs but none of which were polished!

The Maid of Cledon

We entered the house at dusk but already inside it was pitch black, the walls were clad in dark wood and all the curtains were drawn. We unloaded our belongings into the various rooms, all of us a little wary of the room at the top of the tower, if there was a ghost it was most definitely up there! Eventually the drummer bit his lip and took the room, traipsing slowly up the winding wooden stairs and entering the master bedroom. “Is it haunted?” he called down. “I don’t really know” I answered, “there’s some rumour about the maid of Cledon that went mad and killed herself but I don’t know if it’s true!” He didn’t answer so I continued, "Supposedly at night you can hear her walking the corridors and ringing the service bell!" Still no answer and I couldn't resist, "Apparently she killed herself because the old master of the house was a drummer and the constant tapping sent her mad!" 

Back downstairs and we busied ourselves unloading instruments and food and boxes of Ale. We set up our gear in the drawing room, lit the fires to warm both the house and the water system and the weekend unfolded.

Surgery was grim, some songs were put through the mill; I thought we’d lose them. But we stitched them up and they pulled through. The other way we looked at it that brought us no end of amusement was to treat them as football players all trying to impress the coach in order to be picked for the summer tournament. Who would make a late dash for the plane!? And it worked; when Stormy Weather was initially left out of the first squad, alarm bells were ringing, so we gave him a run out to prove his worth, and boy did he do that! It was primal, the mood, the flavour, the tone; with the drummer bent over completely immersed in the song, he looked like an old man in a boat on a stormy sea, hunched over, bailing out water. The guitar player’s solo hitting all the sweet notes, the piano player totally absorbed in the atmosphere of the song and I nearly cried at its end. It was working! We played our hearts out, our best music, our best performances, ironically miles away from all of you lot! We played for ourselves and the ghosts were dancing!

Outside the rain continued, fine rain that soaks you through. We watched it from the window; it suited us, no distractions. We threw another log on the fire and ploughed on. We threw another song onto the operating table and gave him an XRAY. A broken foot, he needed some new boots. The bass player was the physiotherapist who taught him to walk again.

Good food, good company, and no arguments. The weekend was a resounding success. In our eyes anyway! You may well come and see us soon and think we’ve butchered our set, given the old men new limbs and they’ve lost their way! You may think the facelifts have turned them into cartoons! We’ll soon know as the boos ring out! There’s no rest this month, it’s 9 gigs in three weeks, in three countries (if you count Cornwall’s recent upgrade!)

The maid of Cledon never did come to haunt us, nor the old women in the rocking chair as another family member had threatened us with! Though as we pulled away and chanced a look behind at the old lodge I swear I saw a young girl at the tower window, she was smiling and holding our new set list!

“It's pretty Goooooooooood!” she cooed.

www.theoddfolk.com

The quiet before the storm!

poster by Mae Voogd

Apologies for the lack of contact; a full 4 weeks since our last update! After the two film premiere's we were completely exhausted and needed a break from each other. Although we did squeeze in The Big Stomp Off, which pitted us against fellow Bristol stompers Poor Old Dogs and which in all fairness ended in a hard fought draw. We've taken to analysing ourselves in football terms of late; drawing up our set-lists as team sheets, picking our eleven most trusted songs and laying them out as defenders, midfielders and attackers depending on their attributes. The Big Stomp Off was a tricky game, we somewhat foolishly picked 11 attackers which mean't we were unbalanced and lopsided and there was little room to breathe. It was a fast and furious set, not helped by the humid conditions, Up Up and Away (our instrumental showpiece) was sliding all over the place with fingers slipping off stings and drumsticks jumping up like banana's from their skins. We slid off stage and haven't seen each other since! Having said that as much as we do need a break from one another, the absence is more likely caused by the haphazard nature of gig bookings; April is empty, May is full with 9 gigs, including 5 on one weekend! 

But right now let's enjoy the welcome weather; lazy days spent on the beach with teasing temperatures. It's a month for firsts; barbecue, swim, picnic, and the first month for a long time that the piano player hasn't called up asking for a favour of one nature or another! He seems settled in Bristol, revelling in his new found fame and fortune; after only six months he has shot to the top of the paintball-seller list; full of smiles, enjoying going to work and has been known to grumble if we need him on a saturday and he can't go out selling! He gets itchy after a couple of days off, eager for a sale, trying his luck in supermarkets as he buy groceries or - and here's a new one - trying to sell to fans while up on stage! "Thanks very much, we've been The Odd Folk and if your interested in paintballing come and see me after the show!"

While we're here, I'll fill you in on the rest of us. You may remember the guitar player was on the verge of buying his first house, well he's still on the verge, even closer to the verge, on the verge of the verge! Never one to be flustered, one of the calmest people I know, he turned to me and with a look I've never seen before, a look of mild frustration and said quite coolly "I've finally found something that makes me angry, buying houses!". 

The drummer has been doing the opposite, selling houses. He and his ex girlfriend have washed their hands of a property they owned in Mid-Wales. He seems happy and has been integrating himself further into the band by helping lighten the load of the administration. He's booked his first gig for us, and our first ever gig in Wales, which kicks off our 9 may dates!

The bass player, who has become so important to us on so many levels, and has become the first point of call whenever there is a problem, has been back in the capital, and though he may be the furthest away, it feels like he's the closest. Most problems go through him now, he's overtaken the guitar player as being Mr. Pragmatic. He's even started singing and has organised a big overhaul of our set! He's taking over the band! In a good way ;-)

And lastly me; crumbs what have I been up to? Zipping around as per, half way between here and there, doing a spot of gardening in Bristol, auditioning in London and babysitting in Cornwall all seemingly at the same time! Oh, and phoning the bass player a lot!

Outside it's blue skies and another day on the beach. Easter Saturday (if that's a day?) and it's the quiet before the storm. One more week of freedom before the band wakes up and yawns and stretches his rusty limbs, taking a little stroll before breaking into a headlong sprint towards June! Let's enjoy this last week of freedom before the mayhem begins which takes us from Wales to Brighton to London to Gloucester to Cornwall and ending, quite controversially, in Devon.

Anyhow, time for a game of water-goalie and a splash in the shallows. I'm off to the beach with the piano player now, I'll be doing the above while he trawls 

up and down the sand trying to sell paintballs to the Easter holiday-makers! 

Ta Ta for now! Do come and see us in May!

www.theoddfolk.com

Two Premieres

We were stood outside The Cube in Bristol, the last of the instruments crammed into the van, a couple of groupies loitering on the nearby curb. I approached my bandmates with the brown envelope of the night's takings clasped in my hand. They looked up expectantly; half in hope, half in fear. I cleared my throat and, "We made a loss of £75 boys!" There was a huge, heightened cheer and all 5 hands came together in celebration. How NOT be in a band! It was a perfect moment, I only wish the film camera had caught it.

As it happened the film cameras had caught enough; the evening's premiere was very well received and raucous laughter rolled about the old microplex cinema. The film had been completed only hours before it's red carpet release, and in true Odd Folk style, in the wrong format! meaning half an hour before the guests arrived we were facing the prospect of a 100 people cramming around a laptop on the middle of the stage. Luckily, the filmmaker and the projectionist found a stray wire that enabled us to transfer onto the big screen and Oh what a lovely experience it was too; to see our endeavours played out in high definition with cinema surround sound to a beholden room full of our friends and fans.

We were warmed by the response and indebted to our friends at Construct Creatives, who'd followed and filmed us the autumn before and then crafted their pictures into a delightful little snapshot of life in a band. And all as a labour of love. We'd done little handmade thank you cards for the filmmaker and editor with hastily scribbled messages of praise and gramercy and then put the wrong cards in the wrong envelopes! Everything that can go wrong does go wrong! 

*&^*(£@^!@

A week followed before leg-two of the promotional campaign; the homecoming; the Penzance premiere, adding family to the friends and fans. Bigger pressure. A bigger audience. Would we pull it off as we had in Bristol? Would it go smoothly? Hardly! The night before the event we had no venue, no stage, no chairs and no PA! We had two newspaper articles, two dozen posters and the radio all telling people to go to The Union, we had tickets printed with The Union, but we didn't have The Union anymore! We'd pulled out after a barny over the bar and were facing the prospect of 200 people cramming into my mother's front room and watching us on the laptop! It was as close to a catastrophe as we've ever come! Which considering some of the mishaps we've had is saying a lot. 

The night before the event in the driving rain I approached the PZ Gallery in my hometown. All I had was a DVD and a croaky voice. I had the hopes of hundreds on my back. We thrashed out a deal which included the whole gallery, the projector and a fully stocked bar. Deal done. Now all we gotta do is get the message to the masses (word of mouth, posters scribbled over, notice boards at popular watering holes around town), build a stage ("Dad please!"), get a PA (drive 30 miles north to re-hire the one we'd returned the day before) and post a sentinel outside The Union to re-direct the traffic ("Mum, you wouldn't be an angel and stand outside in the rain with a sandwich board on would you!?). We accomplished it with seconds to spare, the guitar player who had been stuck in traffic from Bristol, just slipping through the door as the lights went down in a packed gallery . 

It was as warmly received, and as much-loved. We had all pulled together and made a bonfire out of an ember. Earlier in the day when the stage had arrived - when I say stage I mean a van load of pallets and some off-cuts of chipboard from a nearby building job - we all donned our yellow hardhats like Bob the Builder and fashioned it as best we could; the result was a 3-tiered podium; no tier with much room on it!

The drummer set his drums up on the largest level, the gold place, but had no room for his drum seat so had to sit on a highchair on the floor behind, which just bought him level! The piano player, on the lowest level, the bronze place, had barely enough room to swing a kitten and his pallet wobbled under the wood chocks and books. The final level, the silver place, housed myself, the bass player and guitar player, but little else, meaning the mics were balanced on an ironing board on the floor at the front. Space was at a premium, the structure was precarious, but it was our stage, our creation, and it worked. Just! We'd muddled through, calling favours from far and wide like The reverend Joe Gray lending us half a dozen church pews and John Voogd finding that stray wire that links the Laptop to the Projector! And giddy with gratitude we stood outside the gallery, the last of the instruments crammed into the van, a couple of groupies loitering on a nearby curb. I approached my bandmates with the brown envelope of the nights takings clasped in my hand. They looked up in total trepidation, teeth gritted, eyes skewed as though a firework had just been sparked. I cleared my throat and, "We made a profit of £80 boys!" The celebrations were wild, we roared to the moon and danced around the cobbled streets like kings and madmen. The band was £5 in the black! It was joyous feeling. 5 whole pounds. What we could do with such money? A latte and muffin from Starbucks!? A single trip on the London Underground in zone 1!? We were getting lost in the possibilities when the proprietor poked his head from the gallery window, "Err... before you get too carried away; I'll need £20 off you for the cleaner tomorrow morning!"

How NOT to be in Band!

www.theoddfolk.com